it was a monday. guess who STILL hadn't gone into labor? i was 10 days overdue and having yet another non-stress test to see how the fluids in the ol' ute (uterus) were doing. they had decreased. not to dangerous levels, but decreased which meant it was probably time for bebe to make an appearance.

that's when le doctor said, "you're going to have a bebe tomorrow."

"whoa whoa whoa. pump the brakes!" i declared.

i mean...i had been complaining A LOT about how uncomfortable i was. i think i even said, "i'll do anything to get this bebe out."

but when le doctor said that tomorrow was the day...i was panic-stricken. scared. sweating. lots and lots of sweating. mostly in the armpit area.

my farmer and i drove back to the farm to wait out our sentence. on the way back we rented a few movies and he bought me some frozen yogurt. i was feeling better and in complete denial. nothing like a little fro-yo to make you forget.

fast-forward to 4:30 am on 10.30

it was bebe day. at some point on tuesday, we would be meeting our child, cuddling our child, naming our child, and all that other new-parent stuff.

i showered, ate some toast, and loaded all 153 pounds of myself into the car. this was actually happening.

as we drove the one hour and 15 minutes to the hospital we discussed politics, the weather, what we would have for dinner that evening...

nope. we discussed none of those things.

we actually got busy about naming our bebe. now, this is usually quite a point of contention for farmer and me. it caused some pretty intense "silent-treatment" moments over the past few months.

(basically, i would get so fired up at his suggestions i couldn't talk about it anymore so i chose not to talk at all.)

but, as we approached le big city we had decided upon not only a boy name, but a girl name too! this was going to be a magical day. we were off to a great start.

we arrived at the hospital and quickly greeted and whisked away by the most amazing labor and delivery nurse EVER. ever. EVER. my dearest, most sweetest, most talented - cathie.

i couldn't be more thrilled to inform you that not only was she a bridesmaid in our wedding, but she was also going to be there for the birth of our bebe. it chokes me up just thinking about how lucky we were to have her there with us. (sheesh. so dusty in here. get it? the dust makes the eyes water? inside joke.)

okay, so i had my pillow, my farmer, and my cathie. i was ready.

boom - hook up the pit. (pitocin.)

boom - contractions begin. ouch.

as i experienced each contraction they have this funny way of breaking you down mentally. they get closer and closer and harder and harder. as they get closer and harder you obvs. have WAY less time to recover. your confidence is shaken. your emotions are rocked. you're hard-pressed to stay focused on the fact that the pain is temporary. that sucks.

when i arrived at the hospital that morning i was dilated to a two. five hours later i was only a four.

enter the tears. i felt like a failure, but this girl needed her epidural.

boom - hook up the epidural.

boom - guess who had a smile on her face?

boom - i puked. a puke well worth it for the relief from contractions.

what i  learned? be flexible with the birth-plan. if you need the epidural, swallow your pride. you are your own worst critic. you'll be hard-pressed to find someone who will judge you for going for the drugs. 

the following hours zoomed by and all of a sudden it was 4:30 pm. nurse cathie was going to begin prepping our room for the delivery.

*cue the sweating from my armpits*

at around 5:30 pm i was prepped and ready to begin pushing. and push i did. bebe was on the way.

after a few pushes my nurses had me pump the brakes. bebe was coming and le doctor was still at his kid's parent teacher conference. he had given me explicit instructions to NOT have bebe until he returned.

the nurses jumped on the phone and made sure he had some giddy-up in his giddy-up. he needed to get to the hospital.

enter le doctor.

boom - i felt like i was a successful pusher.

boom - doctor told me to pump the brakes on the pushing. so i have him some 1/2 pushes.

boom - the news at 6pm was on channel seven.

as everyone was looking at me and coaching me through the pushes, i was looking at the news between the contractions. and this is what i saw...

meet lisa holley. she was accused of faking cancer and pregnancy to get money from a fundraiser. would you like to read the article? click here.

so miss lisa was on the news and i couldn't help but say something. i was in between contractions and pushing so i said something along the lines of, "can we all have a look at this lady's mug shot?"

doctor, nurses, and farmer turned to have a look. i think we'll all remember miss lisa. how do you forget? seriously...can someone help me forget?

actually, we all laughed. comic relief for sure.

boom - a few minutes later, our little kaye bell schiermeier made her debut.

she. was. here.

cue the ugly cry. i have the ugly cry perfected...

7 pounds, 14 ounces.

19 3/4 inches.

beautiful, lovely, a little alien-looking, very cone-headed, quite blotchy, one blood-shot eye, a few stork bites.

but really? i've never seen a more insanely gorgeous bebe. i think that's just how it goes. perfection in a mother's eye.

instant love.

love love love.

love oozing out my eyes. we also call those tears.

love oozing out of my farmer's eyes. more tears.

love oozing out of nurse cathie's eyes. tears!

best day ever? i. think. so.

meet kaye bell...