today's post brought to you by...a quitter.

i'm the quitter.

my turtle is two years and four months old and still isn't potty trained. and guess what...i don't see it happening any time soon.

my farmer was at a bachelor party this past weekend and i thought it the perfect opportunity to test the waters...get a feel for kaye's readiness.

it all started on friday. i drove to the store for supplies and gathered the necessities from around the house:

O N E - a giant bag of m+m's
T W O - some delicious naked blue machine juice. kaye's favorite.
T H R E E - water bottle
F O U R - pink, princess toilet (baby bjorn)
F I V E - ipad
S I X - cued up on the DVR with a movie
i would have thought in all my preparation i would be that mom that successfully potty trained her child in two days. yeah...i've read all about those moms and it makes me want to feed their kid a bunch of gatorade and lock all the bathroom doors.

no no...i'm not that vindictive and i would never set a child up for failure. however...potty training is H A R D and it makes me think bad thoughts. such as...maybe kaye would be comfortable in diapers until she's 13? maybe?

anyway...i had all my supplies ready and this is how it went down.

1 | start the morning with kaye picking out her big girl undies. she proceeded to be in her big girl undies for well over an hour before i thought it was a good time to have her sit on her toilet.

2 | at this point, she had downed over 16 ounces of watered down juice and a full eight ounces of milk. i was convinced a successful sit on the toilet would happen any minute.

3 | 20 minutes passed. nothing. 30, 40, an hour and 15 minutes went by with nothing. i finally texted my sister and said, "it's not happening. i'm quitting. she's not ready." instead i decided to wait it out a few more minutes and then, just like happened.

4 |  kaye looked at me and smiled. i looked at kaye and cried. i literally cried...we had been waiting so long and i was so so proud.

5 | we cleaned everything up, celebrated, jumped up and down, and kaye received her beloved prize. i was going to give her two m+m's for each success...but i was so thrilled, girlfriend got a handful. i couldn't help myself.

6 | another hour passed and i was certain after all the juice and milk she would have to go again. so i asked her, and she sat down on her own. she proceeded to stay there for another hour and a half.

the waiting. it's terrible. but kaye was SUCH a trooper.
after success on day #2. she was SO proud of herself. and obviously if she's sitting on a princess toilet she has to be dressed as such.
7 | finally, she had her second success on the princess toilet and received another handful of m+m's. that's when it all went downhill.

8 | 15 minutes later was accident #1 and not 10 minutes after that was accident #2. huh? yeah...i was so confused and frustrated. it was after that we called it a day. she was almost due for nap time anyway.

the next morning we started the process over. kaye sat on the toilet, again, for over an hour and finally went. it was most definitely at that point i decided this was not the way to spend our time. kaye had spent the last two mornings sitting, watching movies and drinking juice. #overit.

my new strategy will be as follows - i'm going to consistently ask her every day throughout the day if she needs to use the toilet, or more specifically, "kaye, do you need to go pee-pee in your princess toilet?"

i know, one day soon, she'll answer yes and that will be the perfect time to take potty training to the next level with bigger prizes and larger celebrations. i'll probably buy her a car.