weight gain can be so much fun. i reflect back on all those delicious, hearty meals i made my family. all the nights i sat next to my farmer and stole the nutella right from his hands. (that's love.) but then it's not fun when you realize you feel like crap not because your clothes don't fit (luckily, they still do) but because you've been putting crap food in your mouth for six months. time to get real...

blah blah blah - i've been humming and hawing about this for weeks...errr...months now. here's the thing...i gained a whopping 18 pounds with both sawyer and elli. i know...a real whale of a pregnant gal.

i'm actually so so very lucky when it comes to carrying my babies. i just don't gain a lot of weight. granted, i do work out and i eat somewhat healthy...but i've also been known to eat ice cream every single night for mooooonths.

now, before you go and click the "x" on this page, let me say this. i struggle. i'm six months out from having elli and initially i lost all the weight. poof...gone. gone within days (like two days) of having her i was down all 18 pounds. but of course, just like with kaye and sawyer, i continued to eat like i was pregnant. healthy-ish, but all the late-night snacks i could ever want. ice cream here and there. lots of m&m's. so so much popcorn. it absolutely does not help that i'm married to the man i'm married to who has the biggest sweet tooth i've ever seen but still has a six-pack...or maybe more. i don't even know. i just want to punch him in all eight of his abs.

as he's nibbling away, i'm like, "oh hey...whatcha got over there? a tub of frosting? i'll take some!" when he glances my way ten minutes later i'm saying something along the lines of, "you can pry this tub of frosting from my cold, dead hands..."

it's safe to say i've officially gained six pounds and i'm feeling really really...sad about it? not sad. shameful? not necessarily shameful that i've put on a little weight. truthfully, i'm still smaller than i was in college by a long shot. but i'm feeling shamed that i'm treating my body so terribly. i'm so so good to myself all day long...and then the night hits and you'd think i was addicted to crack because someone told me there's chocolate in crack. (there's not actually chocolate in crack, but that's what i'd do to get my hands on chocolate.)

so here's a little verbal motivation to getting things moving in the right direction. maybe even a positive affirmation or two. think of getting healthy, not losing pounds. think of being good to your body, not buttoning your jeans. think of having more energy, not the wedding you want to look good for in may.

or, you know what...think of looking good for a wedding or fitting in jeans, but remember that ultimately its about your health.

if you're headed in the healthy eating direction just like me...i'm going to link a few of my favorite healthy recipes that will be on a regular dinner rotation in our house for the coming months. (bye bye comfort food. mashed potatoes...i'm going to miss you.)

i'll be over on pinterest pinning away my favorite healthy breakfast / dinner / snack ideas if you're in need for some quick inspiration!