i know it was just two days ago that i was talking about how sawyer hates me, but here's the truth. i wouldn't say she hates me, per se. she just has a hierarchy of preference. our farmer takes up spaces one, two, and three - and i gladly take space four. except for last night when i was #1. i was so very happy to be the top dog in her book...in the middle of the night.

it was about 1:30 am when i heard crying. sawyer's room is right next to ours and sometimes she cries for a second because she's lost her binkie, so i waited a beat. the crying kept coming and then she just kept saying, "mama, mama, mama..." over and over again.

i knew something was wrong.

i got out of bed and opened her door and she was standing there whimpering but relieved to see me.

i bent down to pick her up and quickly realized (stop reading if you don't like puke) she had puke down the front of her and there was a trail of it to her bed.

now...this is my first instance dealing with puke. in four years i've changed the nastiest death diapers of hell - but never have i dealt with puke. and guess what...aside from it happening in the middle of the night...puke isn't that bad.

so as i was saying - my poor gal had puked...everywhere (except her bed - good girl!). i grabbed some fresh jammies, a roll of paper towels, and some wet wipes. i started cleaning my gal up and got her tucked back into bed. five minutes later i had the trail cleaned up as well - pretty decently, might i add, thanks to wet wipes. wet wipes are everything.

my sweet gal looked at me and said, "thank you, mama." i asked if she wanted a drink of water and then turned off her light. i sat next to her on her bed for the next 20 minutes while she hugged my arm and i rubbed her back with my other.

it was one of those moments where it's just the very very very best to be a mom. yes, it was the middle of the night. yes, my hands smelled like puke. but my gal - she needed me and wanted me and preferred me. she was genuinely thankful i was there for her...and i wanted to stay there rubbing her back all night - but i was tired, so that trumped sweetness. let's be realistic here.

so while i'm sure you were pretty concerned that sawyer kind of hates me...she totally doesn't hate me. last night...i think she loved me. like...really really loved me.