KAYE | SIXTEEN MONTHS

Thursday, March 06, 2014

and who do we suppose this pants-less wonder is? that's right. turtle is back to celebrate her 16 months here on the farm. 

i think it's pretty clear  in the above picture that her hair is really starting to blossom. no, seriously. in the past month the thickness has really increased. which is funny, because my hair has actually gotten thinner. seriously. it's breaking off all over the place so i finally had to do something about it. but that's a different post for a different day. 

my little girl. she has some serious personality. she's a runner not a walker. a snack and meal-lover. and she definitely marches to her own beat. 

girlfriend is more than capable of picking up small pieces. but when you've perfected that skill, why not make things a bit more efficient? hoover. 

thank god for the warmish weather as of late. little girl absolutely cannot get enough of the farm-fresh air. i can tell we're going to need to let some dollar bills fly on some outside toys because we're going to be working on our tans all summer. 

every morning after breakfast we put on our shoes as fast as we can so that you can find some new and amazing rocks you didn't see the day before. luckily, with our farm-living status, the rocks are a-plenty. we are at no shortage and i don't foresee any issue with this in our future.

a bonus with your new found maturity...you now let me put headbands and bows in your hair.

on this particular morning we put you in your new sandals and i reaaaallly wanted you to wear the matching headband. i put it on you and you ripped it off. i put it on you again and told you you had to keep it on if you wanted to go outside. and just like that…a miracle happened. you wore that headband all day…and now you wear bows all day too. thrilled.

we recently took you to your well-baby checkup and got some good and not so good news.

girlfriend…you're physically advanced. the fact that you can run, skip, jump, spin is apparently pretty advanced. you are also 70th percentile for weight (you take after your mom) and 78th percentile for height (you take after your dad).

not so good news? the doctor was a little concerned with your lack of verbiage. he said to read to you more, but if that were the case we would be locked in your room all. day. long. i think i knew the culprit, and it wasn't that we weren't reading to you enough.

it was that effing binkie. you needed it. you wanted it. you were in love with it. it was your passion. well…we've taken it away. you went from 20 binkies strategically placed around the house, in the car, and in your diaper bag to one binkie that you get for naps and bed time. when you're not sleeping the binkie lives safely under your pillow. you put it there when you wake up because you know i won't take you out of your crib until you place it there. it is the cutest thing.

but guess what…your language has done a bit of a boom since we went binkie free. you now say (in only language your farmer and i understand): animal cracker, blueberry, banana, mom, dad, more, bye, dog, bunny, and we're pretty sure you said brody the other day. we're probably going to have some trouble with one of amy's boys down the line…i just know it.

because just look at this little girl. i swoon for her. swoon. and i fear the boys will too.

nicknames | turtle, little girl, girlfriend

favorite food | greek yogurt, beef jerky, animal crackers, and forever and always…blueberries

likes | her farmer, driving, tangled, being outside all the time without pants on, sliding, dogs

dislikes | diaper changes, some of my cooking, winding down for bed

favorite song | blurred lines, robin thicke ft. TI + pharrell

sleeping | you've officially dropped your second nap. you now take a glorious GLORIOUS three hour nap at noon and are down for the night by 7:30 pm. you sleep nearly 13 hours at night…you lazy, lazy bear.

you're going to make a terrible farmer.

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that one time i was in a pageant

Monday, March 03, 2014

you read that correctly.

i was in a pageant in college.

a good friend of my farmer's stopped by the farm today. well…in a weird twist of fate, that good friend of my farmer is dating my old boyfriend's littler sister.

that got me thinking about that period of time in my life. the period of time when i was in a pageant the spring before i graduated from college.

i competed for the title of miss tri-counties which was a local competition to qualify for miss idaho. you would not believe how hard it is for me to type that out. it's my shame.

my. shame.

long long ago (2005) i was somehow convinced by a gal i went to college with that i could totally have a chance at winning some cold, hard cash in a pageant.

i like cash. i'll do a pageant. that was basically all i thought about before i submitted my paperwork.

it would be super easy. slap on some makeup. prance around in a bathing suit. do a talent. yeah…i got this.

you guys…i literally thought i had a shot. come to find out…i had a shot in hell.

because i thought i had a shot i invited everyone. i wanted these people to see my crowning moment, literally.

i had the following in attendance: college friends, high school friends, friends from san francisco, my boyfriend, my boyfriend's mom and sister, and my parents. i even won an award for having the most people there. i was nearly positive i was going to win that sparkly crown.

if i didn't win a title i would surely win miss congeniality, right? wrong.

allow me to list for you…

sure signs i wasn't going to win this pageant

#1 | i was 20 pounds overweight. could someone have told me to hit a treadmill? sure. did they? no. should i have looked in a mirror? yes. did i? yes. was i delusional? yes. hey…when you have self-esteem you have self-esteem.

#2 | i had absolutely no talent. so what did i do? i sang a song. the musical stylings of karli belting out boogie woogie bugle boy by the andrew sisters. did i mention i can't carry a tune? scratch that. i'm not terrible terrible, but i'm certainly not good enough to be singing anything in front of an audience unless i'm drunk and there's a karaoke duet happening to don't go breakin' my heart by elton john.

#3 | i made some questionable choices the night before the pageant. let's just say there was some giggling and some eating. my friends are terrible influences.

i remember the girl who talked me into the pageant stopped by that evening to give me some of her pageant tools and was shocked and appalled at my actions. "karli!" i think is all she could say.

#4 | what did i eat? chinese food. what is the one type of food you should probably stay away from the night before a pageant? chinese food. how about a plate of sodium before you hop into a bikini? perfect.

well…i think it goes with out saying (but i'll say it), i certainly didn't win. not first, second, or third. i didn't win best personality. i didn't win swimsuit or interview.

i won most ticket sales. see? here i am with my "most ticket sales" medal on.

at least i won something.

the night wasn't a total bust. i left with great friends, a bunch of flowers, too much makeup, and a stiff drink. 

and if i get a wild hair…i really think i could win the mrs. pageant in my farm town's population of 100. 

in. the. bag.

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vivid dreams | what could they possibly mean?

Monday, March 03, 2014

i have been having the most insane dreams as of late.

about a week ago i had a dream my sister, dad and i went to hawaii.

we jumped on one of those little pontoon boats and took off out into the ocean blue.

my sister is a dare-devil and a bit of a free spirit and leapt right off the boat into the deep waters. after about a minute i started to panic because i could see a killer whale swimming up from the depths. my sister was going to get her legs eaten, i just knew it.

i started screaming and yelling for her to swim back to the boat. she got there in the nick of time and i pulled her in as the killer whale breached and slapped back into the water.

conclusion?

source

i have watched blackfish way too many times.

dream #2 was about my college roommate.

we had a bit of a falling out after graduation. it was all a really weird situation. i was moving to the big city. she was staying in the apartment. i'm still not exactly positive what happened. actually, i have zero clue what happened. we were great friends. then she wrote me an absolutely crazy letter and we were no longer friends.

as life goes after almost 10 years we've both married and both had babies.

i had a dream that i went to visit her in this tiny tiny town in idaho where she was living.

i saw her home. i saw her baby. she was making dinner…that was the end of the dream.

the truth? i'm nearly positive she doesn't even live in the state of idaho. i also haven't spoken to her in nearly 10 years so why have a dream? i hate that.

but can we take a moment to talk about that picture? we were headed out to celebrate our 21st birthdays. yes…in matchy shirts.

and yes…i was about 20 pounds heavier in this picture. i thought i had a license to eat and drink whatever i wanted in college + i never worked out. that was a tough lesson to learn. yikes.

conclusion? i need to let this one go.

dream #3.

i'm positive there was a dream #3, but when i sat down to write i 100% could not remember what it was about? does that happen to anyone else?

"i had the craziest dream last night…" and then zero recall. that's annoying.

final thought? watch blackfish if you haven't. it's fantastic. and sad. but really good.

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